some distractions
Correlations between Sex-Role Preference and
Physical Preferences for Partners among Gay Men
by Nick
Yee
(posted in 2002)
(download as PDF)
Monday, April 16, 2018
Friday, February 9, 2018
So Much Has Changed Since I Started This Blog. Yet So Much Stays The Same
Since I stopped updating this blog back in 2010, gay marriage was selective. Now it is more accepting and legal in various countries around the world.
Yet unsafe sexual practices between men continue and HIV infection occurs even with PrEP, Pre-exposure prophylaxis .
Gay male body image is still a concern. Gay teen suicide continues. Cyber bulling is rampant.
Some say blogging is old fashioned. Other social media have taken over. Who knows when Blogger will cease to exist.
Those of us who still dabble in blogging and love being less restricted than tweets or Instagram posts, we find freedom in sharing our thoughts in detail.
The old saying, Images say a thousand words, still holds true on the net. Hot pics of hot hairy men get our attention.
But I like to combine both. Hoping you enjoy my style.
Yet unsafe sexual practices between men continue and HIV infection occurs even with PrEP, Pre-exposure prophylaxis .
Gay male body image is still a concern. Gay teen suicide continues. Cyber bulling is rampant.
Some say blogging is old fashioned. Other social media have taken over. Who knows when Blogger will cease to exist.
Those of us who still dabble in blogging and love being less restricted than tweets or Instagram posts, we find freedom in sharing our thoughts in detail.
The old saying, Images say a thousand words, still holds true on the net. Hot pics of hot hairy men get our attention.
But I like to combine both. Hoping you enjoy my style.
Random Acts of Kindness Never Go Out of Style
While you may have outgrown your Boy Scout uniform, you are still that kind, thoughtful boy at heart.
So to make the world around you just a little nicer, consider these gestures.
A warm fuzzy smile costs you nothing. And what benefits it reaps. Try smiling to strangers while walking on a busy sidewalk or riding the bus or subway. Hell, if some stud catches your eye, isn't he worth a big shining grin?
How about a warm bear hug greeting next time you see an acquaintance? Be spontaneous. Hugs can be custom fitted for the recipient and occasion. They send the right message and never grow old.
Don't air kiss. It isn't becoming. This is a silly queen gesture that I wish would go away of the tiara. You're a man. Air kissing is for sissies.
A combination hug and hand shake is appropriate with someone you may not know intimately, but do want to know better. Always complete the gesture, never do it half ass. One arm must grip firmly around the receivers waist or shoulders while the other hand is extended.
If you really want to go out on a limb, pick up your neighbor's mail or papers as you are heading up to your condo or apartment. If you are home and your neighbor is not and the UPS/FEDEX hunk is delivering, please be gracious and accept the package. This is an especially kind gesture this time of year when so many people have ordered holiday gifts over the Internet.
You not only are doing something meaningful, but just knowing that you have helped someone, will give you a warm feeling inside. It are these small gestures which could lead to something more meaningful. Small things have a way of producing unexpected and pleasant rewards.
Go for it. Niceness is catchy. So make an effort to spread your love today and everyday.
On that note, I leave you with Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs and have a wonderful day.
So to make the world around you just a little nicer, consider these gestures.
A warm fuzzy smile costs you nothing. And what benefits it reaps. Try smiling to strangers while walking on a busy sidewalk or riding the bus or subway. Hell, if some stud catches your eye, isn't he worth a big shining grin?
How about a warm bear hug greeting next time you see an acquaintance? Be spontaneous. Hugs can be custom fitted for the recipient and occasion. They send the right message and never grow old.
Don't air kiss. It isn't becoming. This is a silly queen gesture that I wish would go away of the tiara. You're a man. Air kissing is for sissies.
A combination hug and hand shake is appropriate with someone you may not know intimately, but do want to know better. Always complete the gesture, never do it half ass. One arm must grip firmly around the receivers waist or shoulders while the other hand is extended.
If you really want to go out on a limb, pick up your neighbor's mail or papers as you are heading up to your condo or apartment. If you are home and your neighbor is not and the UPS/FEDEX hunk is delivering, please be gracious and accept the package. This is an especially kind gesture this time of year when so many people have ordered holiday gifts over the Internet.
You not only are doing something meaningful, but just knowing that you have helped someone, will give you a warm feeling inside. It are these small gestures which could lead to something more meaningful. Small things have a way of producing unexpected and pleasant rewards.
Go for it. Niceness is catchy. So make an effort to spread your love today and everyday.
What are your Valentine's Day plans? Will you find romance, flirting, cupid's arrow?
Valentine's
Day can be a very romantic celebration for gay men, especially those
who enjoy showing affection. Even if you don't have that special guy in
your life, there are ways to enhance Cupid's Arrow to attract a guy's
attention.
Lots
of bear clubs and bars have special Valentine's Day weekend events.
Also your usual online hookup resources can be tweaked to show your
availability and signal your willingness to have some furry fun.
There
is the perfect storm of gay male holiday celebrations occurring this
weekend. With Mardi Gras and Valentine's Day be celebrated, why not
combine the two? Sometimes, all it takes is a big, warm smile to melt
another guys heart.
So leave any attitude at home. Strap on your jock, open your heart, and let Cupid work his magic.
Wednesday, February 7, 2018
Body Image: Gay Men See Themselves Differently. I see them as Hairy Hunks
I wrote this many years ago, but I feel these thoughts need to be re-posted:
Be happy with your body, but strive to make it the best body it can be.
There is no such thing as the Adonis look. Male Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
Some parts we can never really appreciate about ourselves, because we never see them in the right light. So graciously accept any and all comments about your strong back, shoulders, and butt cheeks.
As I have stated earlier, I can find at least something positive, great, erotic, about every male body. So check out your assets, work on what’s great about your body, accentuate the positive, and go for it.
Giving you mega hairy muscle hugs of encouragement. You got the bod, now make it happen.
The Gay Male body is a spectrum of male beauty. See for yourself
Be happy with your body, but strive to make it the best body it can be.
There is no such thing as the Adonis look. Male Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
Some parts we can never really appreciate about ourselves, because we never see them in the right light. So graciously accept any and all comments about your strong back, shoulders, and butt cheeks.
As I have stated earlier, I can find at least something positive, great, erotic, about every male body. So check out your assets, work on what’s great about your body, accentuate the positive, and go for it.
Giving you mega hairy muscle hugs of encouragement. You got the bod, now make it happen.
The Gay Male body is a spectrum of male beauty. See for yourself
Gay Men, Much More than Statistics
Interesting Hairy Facts
I owe a debt of gratitude to Nick Yee's classic post. The study is 16 years old, but the facts remain somewhat true.
Beyond Tops and Bottoms
Beyond Tops and Bottoms
Most psychology research that deal with gay
men dichotomize the sex roles as Top and Bottom (if they differentiate
among gay men at all) - preference for insertive anal intercourse and
preference for receptive anal intercourse respectively. This paper summarizes
a study that tested a more elaborate categorization, and finds that
sex role preference is correlated with differences in physical preferences
for a sexual partner among gay men, suggesting that the hypothesized
categorization is meaningful. The data suggests that sex roles should
be thought of as a continuous spectrum that map onto a continuous spectrum
of physical preferences.
The new categorization tested includes 6
categories:
1) Only Bottom
2) Versatile, but prefer Bottom
3) Versatile, equal
4) Versatile, but prefer Top
5) Only Top
6) Never had anal sex / Don't Know
1) Only Bottom
2) Versatile, but prefer Bottom
3) Versatile, equal
4) Versatile, but prefer Top
5) Only Top
6) Never had anal sex / Don't Know
All respondents were volunteers recruited
from www.gay.com chat rooms over the period of 1/25/02 to 1/27/02. They
were asked to participate in an online questionnaire. A total of 396
respondents completed the survey. The average age of respondents was
around 33:
The average self-reported height of respondents
was 5'10, and the average weight was 180 lbs. Both these statistics
closely match national averages for men above the age of 20 - 5'9 and
180 lbs respectively.
Many gay men feel that there are more Bottoms
than Tops, and the point of the study wasn't to prove this one way or
another. The milieu of gay.com may have skewed the proportions. But
the point of the study was to see whether preference for certain physical
traits were different among individuals among the different categories
rather than finding out the actual distribution (which is a much tougher
question because it's hard to remove the bias of where you solicit your
respondents).
The data showed that while most gay
men preferred men who were around their age, gay men who identified
as Only Bottoms prefer significantly older men than Only Tops. Notice
that the distribution is negatively skewed for Only Tops and is positively
skewed for Only Bottoms. The 3 Versatiles have a normal distribution
centered on "Around my Age", and were not significantly different
from each other.
We see the same trend in height preference.
Only Tops prefer significantly shorter men than Only Bottoms who in turn
tend to prefer significantly taller men.
When asked to indicate the desired weight for
a male who is 5'11, Only Tops preferred significantly lighter men than
Only Bottoms who preferred significantly heavier men.
And finally, we see the same trend for preference
for hairiness. Only Tops are significantly more likely to prefer smooth
men than Only Bottoms who tend to prefer very hairy men.
In a pilot study with only 20 subjects and
a dichotomized sex role preference, Damon (2000) found trends that power
motivations correlated with sex role preference. In particular, he suggested
that men who prefer insertive anal intercourse like to exert power over
their sexual partners during sexual intercourse, while men who prefer
receptive anal intercourse like to be overpowered.
Data from the current study supports this theory. Age, height,
weight and hairiness are indicators of masculinity. Older, hairier, taller
and more solid men are considered to be more masculine than younger, smoother,
shorter and lighter men. Data from the current study suggests that Only
Tops seek out sexual partners with less masculine features, while Only
Bottoms seek out sexual partners with more masculine features. One might
suggest that Only Tops seek out sexual partners with feminine qualities
while Only Bottoms seek out sexual partners with masculine qualities.
Respondents were also asked whether they preferred
their sexual activities to be gentle, rough or in-between. It was found
that Only Bottoms and Versatiles (prefer Bottom) were more likely to prefer
rough sex than the other 3 categories, again suggesting that receptive
anal intercourse is linked with a desire to be overpowered.
Not only does the data show significant differences
in physical preferences between Only Tops and Only Bottoms, but the data
also shows that the 3 Versatiles, for the most part, modulate between
these two extremes in a fairly linear manner. For example, consider this
excerpted height preference table:
So if we think of Only Tops as preferring feminine
traits and Only Bottoms as preferring masculine traits, then we have evidence
that the more a gay man prefers the Bottom role, the more he prefers masculine
attributes (older, taller, heavier, hairier) in a partner, and the more
he prefers the Top role, the more he prefers feminine attributes (younger,
shorter, lighter, smoother) in a partner.
Critics may point out that maybe Bottoms who prefer older
partners become Tops who prefer younger partners as they get older, or
that Tops in general are older than Bottoms. An ANOVA using sex role preference
as the grouping variable and age as the dependent variable found no significant
age difference between the 5 sex role groups (F[5,388]=1.60, p=.16). Also,
Weinrich (1992) showed that early childhood play preferences were good
indicators of sex role preference in adult gay men. These two sets of
data together imply that sex role preferences among gay men are determined
early in life and do not change.
In conclusion, instead of the Top and Bottom dichotomy,
the data shows that there seems to be a fairly continuous spectrum of
sex role preferences among gay men that map fairly consistently onto a
continuous spectrum of physical preferences. Of course, the bigger question
now is what biological or developmental differences map onto sex role
preference, and what leads some gay men to prefer insertive anal intercourse
rather than receptive anal intercourse.
Note (added June 2007): Looking back,
this was such an interesting data set. My perspective of sexuality has
changed a great deal since 2002 however. I am much more of a social constructivist
than a biological determinist. If you found this article interesting,
I would recommend a more
recent article I wrote where I explore the social
nature of sexuality.
References:
Damon, Will (2001). The relations of power and intimacy
motives to genitoerotic role preferences in gay men: A pilot study. Canadian
Journal of Human Sexuality. 2000 Vol 9(1) 15-30.
Weinrich, James D.; Grant, Igor; Jacobson, Denise
L.; Robinson, S. Renee; et al (1992). Effects of recalled childhood gender
nonconformity on adult genitoerotic role and AIDS exposure. Archives of
Sexual Behavior. 1992 Dec Vol 21(6) 559-585.
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Reviving Buff's Tuff Talk
It's definitely been a while, guys. With everyone tweeting and posting to Instagram, the traditional blog has taken a back seat.
I'm here to revive Buff's Tuff Talk and make it more visual. Hoping guys who followed the classic original, will find this new version appealing as well.
So here goes more "tuff talk" with a hairy twist.
I'm here to revive Buff's Tuff Talk and make it more visual. Hoping guys who followed the classic original, will find this new version appealing as well.
So here goes more "tuff talk" with a hairy twist.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Happy Daddy's Day
Wishing all my buds a very Happy Daddy's Day. Remember all that he does for you everyday throughout the year.
So bring him his slippers, give him some lovin, and allow him to chill out and enjoy his day.
WOOF
Friday, April 16, 2010
Baby Steps, but Now We Have Hospital Visitation Rights
A long time coming but now we have hospital visitation rights. This is definitely a step in the right direction.
Washington Post Friday, April 16, 2010
President Obama mandated Thursday that nearly all hospitals extend visitation rights to the partners of gay men and lesbians and respect patients' choices about who may make critical health-care decisions for them, perhaps the most significant step so far in his efforts to expand the rights of gay Americans.
The president directed the Department of Health and Human Services to prohibit discrimination in hospital visitation in a memo that was e-mailed to reporters Thursday night while he was at a fundraiser in Miami.
Administration officials and gay activists, who have been quietly working together on the issue, said the new rule will affect any hospital that receives Medicare or Medicaid funding, a move that covers the vast majority of the nation's health-care institutions. Obama's order will start a rule-making process at HHS that could take several months, officials said.
Hospitals often bar visitors who are not related to an incapacitated patient by blood or marriage, and gay rights activists say many do not respect same-sex couples' efforts to designate a partner to make medical decisions for them if they are seriously ill or injured.
"Discrimination touches every facet of the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people, including at times of crisis and illness, when we need our loved ones with us more than ever," Joe Solmonese, president of the Human Rights Campaign, said in a statement praising the president's decision.
Obama's mandate is the latest attempt by his administration to advance the agenda of a constituency that strongly supported his presidential campaign.
In his first 15 months in office, he has hailed the passage of hate crime legislation and held the first Gay Pride Day celebration at the White House. Last month, Obama's top military and defense officials testified before Congress in favor of repealing of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy for gays in the armed forces.
But the moves have been too slow for some gay rights activists, who have urged the president to be more vocal and active in championing their causes. John Aravosis, a prominent gay blogger, wrote last October that Obama's "track record on keeping his gay promises has been fairly abominable."
Other gay rights activists have defended the administration, while at the same time pushing Congress to act on broader issues such as passage of an employment non-discrimination act and an end to the ban on gays serving openly in the military.
"We see this as part of our ongoing effort to encourage the administration to take action where it has the authority to act," said David Smith, a Human Rights Campaign spokesman. "We've been working and pressing the administration on our legislative agenda. That work continues."
Gay activists have argued for years that recognizing same-sex marriage would ease the stress associated with not being able to visit hospitalized partners.
But opponents of same-sex marriage have called the visitation issue a red herring, arguing that advocates want to provide special rights for gays that other Americans do not have. A spokesman for one group said the president's move was part of a broader effort to appease gays and to undermine the institution of marriage.
Sunday, April 04, 2010
I Think It's Time To Retire Dame Edna
All
good things must come to an end and I'm afraid Dame Edna Everage's
campy humor has reached the final curtain. So who do you think should
replace Dame Edna, or is this kind of humor dead?
Dame Edna Everage - Everage And Feinstein's Broadway Flop To Close
Dame Edna Everage Gallery
Caption: Dame Edna Everage (Picture) DAME EDNA Everage And Feinstein's Broadway Flop To Close
Dame Edna Everage Gallery
Caption: Dame Edna Everage (Picture) DAME EDNA Everage And Feinstein's Broadway Flop To Close
DAME
EDNA EVERAGE and cabaret star MICHAEL FEINSTEIN's stint on Broadway is
coming to an early end - the revue is to close less than two weeks after
its official opening.
It's All About Me stars Australian entertainer Barry Humphries as his drag queen alter-ego Everage singing a collection of show tunes with musician/composer Feinstein in what was expected to be a hot ticket.
Previews began on 6 March (10), but the pair has failed to win over critics and Broadway audiences and producers will bring the curtain down for the final time on 4 April (10).
The two-man show opened at Henry Miller's Theatre on 23 March (10).
The two-man show opened at Henry Miller's Theatre on 23 March (10).
Happy Hoppy Easter and the Lowdown on Heavage
It's definitely been a while since I posted. Sorry about that.
Here's something of interest to the group. A fluff piece, but something to ponder.
Male cleavage -- it s a good idea whose time has come by Tony Hicks
I
AM NOT a fashion writer. I'm a man who selects his clothes each morning
based on the meticulous scientific methods known as MSV (Minimal Spot
Visibility). But even I recognize a man who picks his shirts based on
loving his own heavage.There didn't used to be a term for heavage, which
is a lot like cleavage, only men don't break out in a cold sweat trying
not to stare at it. They used to simply call it Burt Reynolds wearing a
shirt. Or David Hasselhoff going out on the town. Or Tom Jones doing
"... anything.Now we have a term for it. Even the stately Wall Street
Journal knows heavage (although they use many more words to describe it
than "man-boobs.")"Man cleavage — plunging necklines slit open to reveal
chest hair, pectoral muscles, maybe more — is back.
Until
recently, male decolletage was an androgynous fashion affectation
limited mainly to sporadic appearances on European runways. But the
look, including deep V-necks and scoop-neck tops, hit the U.S. in full
force at New York's September Fashion Week, turning up at shows by
Duckie Brown, Michael Bastian and Yigal Azrouel."Right. What they said.
Decolletage and whatnot.So apparently it's not just crazy Russell Brand
or Bradley Cooper showing up at a premiere with their shirts unbuttoned
to their navels. It's not just Matthew McConaughey at the grocery store.
It's not just Bret Michaels "... being Bret Michaels.
For example, I just discovered women get on the Internet to discuss the various heavage (heavages?) of the guys on "The Vampire Diaries." And my first reaction was "Does anyone remember when vampires — being dead and all — didn't look like they had personal trainers? The fall runway shows — which, as you know, I make a point of attending every year — displayed plunging male necklines. As the Journal reported, "The styles were more blatantly sexual and the models had more studly swagger."Let men be men
For example, I just discovered women get on the Internet to discuss the various heavage (heavages?) of the guys on "The Vampire Diaries." And my first reaction was "Does anyone remember when vampires — being dead and all — didn't look like they had personal trainers? The fall runway shows — which, as you know, I make a point of attending every year — displayed plunging male necklines. As the Journal reported, "The styles were more blatantly sexual and the models had more studly swagger."Let men be men
Who doesn't love studly swagger?
Seriously. One time I almost named my band "Studly Swagger." It's about
time. Haven't we had enough of these anemic-looking skinny boys, who
weigh as much as my left calf, passing themselves off as examples of
real men?I'll be honest. The women in my department decided someone
should write about this heavage thing. They laughed about it. They chose
me because they thought I would make fun of it. I'm not laughing. Not
on your life.
In fact, I'm doing push-ups
as I type. I've been to Tom Jones concerts, where underwear falls like
Seattle drizzle. I heard the women — OK, and some men — screaming what
they wanted to do to David Lee Roth at Van Halen concerts (and that was
just last year, when about half the females had AARP cards in their
wallets). I remember the women crying in the streets when news broke
that Ricky Martin was gay.
Don't obsess,
guysAlthough it's not often discussed, men measure each other by such
things (chest size — not what they think of Ricky Martin). If you've
never looked at another man and wondered if he could bench press more
than you, you might not really be a man. It's why so many non-athletes
who spend a lot of the time at the gym look like stuffed chickens. They
only work their chest because that's the status thing.
And
that's a problem. I'm all for heavage, but with conditions. Heavage
should be an organic thing that comes with development of an overall
healthy body. But some men, from what I read, are taking way too much
time with this concept, shaving or waxing their chest, going to tanning
booths, writing columns while doing one-armed push-ups — it's just too
much. (This is a sin against nature. NEVER, NEVER ATTEMPT to WAX CHEST
HAIR)
Heavage could be a good
thing. But paying that much attention to it is not a good thing.
Respectable heavage should come as a by-product of something else — like
chopping wood. Or wrestling polar bears. Or writing moderately
amusing columns for a decent-sized newspaper. When it comes to
presenting or preparing one's heavage, a man should do I do in times of
great stress. Ask yourself: "What would William Shatner do?"
Which
sometimes gets you funny looks when you say it too loud in public. But
it works. So if you got it, go ahead — unbutton those couple of top
buttons. And if you don't, go back to work and forget it. Next year's
fashion will probably have everyone buttoned up to their foreheads
anyway.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Not Too Early To Think About Daddy Santa's Visit
Recently
the gay publication, Metro Weekly interviewed the famous filmmaker,
writer, producer John Waters, a native of Baltimore, about his feelings
towards the Christmas holiday. His humorous observations are listed
below.
Is Christmas a gay holiday?
MW: Is Christmas a gay holiday in your estimation?
WATERS: Well, it can be, certainly. Is Santa erotic? That is a question with the bear movement. Is he a silver fox? Is he a bear? But at the same time, is asking an overweight person to play Santa Claus at your office party an insult? And it is. It's the "fattist" thing to do. Divine's mother always made him be Santa Claus, so I think he was Santabused.
MW: I've never really pondered the idea of whether or not Santa was erotic.
WATERS: It's a complicated question: Is Santa erotic? Suppose you are attracted to Santa -- does that make you a Santa hag? Can you have sex in a chimney? Are you a flue queen? There are all sorts of possibilities that I talk about.
MW: Is Christmas a gay holiday in your estimation?
WATERS: Well, it can be, certainly. Is Santa erotic? That is a question with the bear movement. Is he a silver fox? Is he a bear? But at the same time, is asking an overweight person to play Santa Claus at your office party an insult? And it is. It's the "fattist" thing to do. Divine's mother always made him be Santa Claus, so I think he was Santabused.
MW: I've never really pondered the idea of whether or not Santa was erotic.
WATERS: It's a complicated question: Is Santa erotic? Suppose you are attracted to Santa -- does that make you a Santa hag? Can you have sex in a chimney? Are you a flue queen? There are all sorts of possibilities that I talk about.
I do think Daddy Santa is a
furry, fuzzy muscle bear. And he's extra generous to all the guys who
are naughty but nice during the year. WOOF
Also I thought I'd repost one of my tributes to Daddy Santa from several years ago. Hope you enjoy it.
Monday, December 12, 2005
What's On Your List to Ask Daddy Santa For This Year?
As you can see, this Daddy Santa helper is not one of the brightest bulbs on the light string set, but he's got his heart in the right place, he's hunky, and is ready to make sure you get from Daddy Santa what you have written on his list.For me, walking steady with a cane would make me very happy. Also getting my strength back and being able to lift weights and be able to do stomach crunches and pull ups again, would make feel almost like my previous self once more.You guys have helped me very much so far. I will always remember that.So don't be shy. Daddy Santa isn't a mind reader. But since I've worked with him in the past, I know that he always makes a supreme effort to reward really good and sexy gay boys and men with pleasures that will be welcomed and enjoyed over and over again. Like big hairy muscle hugs, you can never get enough
What's On Your List to Ask Daddy Santa For This Year?
As you can see, this Daddy Santa helper is not one of the brightest bulbs on the light string set, but he's got his heart in the right place, he's hunky, and is ready to make sure you get from Daddy Santa what you have written on his list.For me, walking steady with a cane would make me very happy. Also getting my strength back and being able to lift weights and be able to do stomach crunches and pull ups again, would make feel almost like my previous self once more.You guys have helped me very much so far. I will always remember that.So don't be shy. Daddy Santa isn't a mind reader. But since I've worked with him in the past, I know that he always makes a supreme effort to reward really good and sexy gay boys and men with pleasures that will be welcomed and enjoyed over and over again. Like big hairy muscle hugs, you can never get enough
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
Brian Brown, our charming foe. He attacks our right to love, our right to marry, with a smile. NOM must not prevail, ever.
This guy is a slick as a snake oil salesman. His group has moved to DC
to make their cause, banning same-sex marriage, a national rallying cry.
They are hell bent to stop gay rights and same-sex marriage in the
halls of Congress, the National Mall, any where they can.
NOM Head Moves His Cause to D.C.
Brian
Brown, executive director of the National Organization for Marriage,
with wife Sue. Of gays marrying, Sue says she initially thought, "What's
the big deal if they do?" (By Tracy A. Woodward -- The Washington Post)Yahoo! Buzz
By Monica HesseWashington Post Staff Writer Friday, August 28, 2009
By Monica HesseWashington Post Staff Writer Friday, August 28, 2009
The nightmares of gay marriage supporters are the Pat Robertsons of the world. The James Dobsons, the John Hagees -- the people who specialize in whipping crowds into frothy frenzies, who say things like Katrina was caused by the gays.
The gay marriage supporters have not met Brian Brown. They should. He might be more worth knowing about.
Brown
is the executive director of the National Organization for Marriage,
the preeminent organization dedicated to preventing the legalization of
same-sex marriage. For two years, Brown has been traveling across the
country. He moved his wife and six kids to California, where NOM
was instrumental in passing Proposition 8, the state constitutional
amendment defining marriage as an institution only between a man and a
woman. Before that, Connecticut, where his cause was hurt when the state
Supreme Court legalized gay marriage.
It was NOM that Miss USA runner-up Carrie Prejean went to shortly after her infamous "opposite marriage" pageant answer. "Gathering Storm," the much-YouTubed announcement in which actors discussed how gay marriage would negatively affect their freedom of religion? That was NOM.
Now NOM is moving its national headquarters to Washington.
The thing about the John Hagees and the Pat Robertsons
is that some people consider them "fringe." And when they speechify,
the people they're most persuasive with are the ones who already believe
them.
But this country is not made up of
people in the far wings, right or left. This country is made up of a
movable middle, reasonable people looking for reasonable arguments to
assure them that their feelings have a rational basis.
Brian
Brown speaks to these people. He has a master's degree from Oxford, and
completed course work for a doctorate in history from UCLA. He
shoulders the accusations of bigotry; it's horrible when people say that
your life's mission is actually just prejudice. He tries to help people
see that opposing gay marriage does not make them bigots, that the
argument should have nothing to do with hate or fear, and everything to
do with history and tradition.
The reason Brian Brown is so effective is that he is pleasantly, ruthlessly sane.
"The Human Rights Campaign is massive," Brown says, referring to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocacy group.
The reason Brian Brown is so effective is that he is pleasantly, ruthlessly sane.
"The Human Rights Campaign is massive," Brown says, referring to the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocacy group.
Brown sits at the nearly empty desk in a nearly empty room -- the H Street NW office space NOM has sublet until the organization finds its own building and moves its staff down from Philadelphia. He is 35, red hair, solidly built, wearing a crisp blue shirt with a white collar. Instantly likable. He's a thoughtful talker, especially when discussing his "opposition," such as the HRC. "They were ahead of the curve but . . . I didn't see any reason why we couldn't do the same thing."
The same thing -- large, well-publicized, well-organized campaigns -- for different purposes. In the world of activism, what works for one side can work for the other. In the two years since its formation, NOM has become a leader in the fight against gay marriage, which Brown calls "the issue of the decade."
"Brian has been the foremost grass-roots leader who has been involved in the marriage debate," says Chuck Donovan, a senior vice president at the conservative Family Research Council. "He's one of the more effective leaders out there."
NOM's campaigns have had missteps. "Gathering Storm," with its melodramatic dialogue and fake lightning, prompted parodies as much as panic; one New York Times columnist called it " 'Village of the Damned' meets 'A Chorus Line' " for its instant camp value. Two Million for Marriage, the organization's push to rally online activists around the country, was similarly unfortunate: Apparently no one at NOM had realized that 2M4M, the hip-sounding tag they'd chosen for the initiative, is also the abbreviation favored by gay couples looking for a threesome.
Brown has been undaunted. Along with NOM President Maggie Gallagher, who lives in New York, he keeps putting out or starting up fires. He raises money. He organizes phone drives. He sits in the empty Washington digs and cheerfully takes conference calls about whom NOM should hire for an Iowa position ("I haven't had good luck with the Heritage job bank, but that doesn't mean anything"). He sends out regular e-mail updates to NOM's mailing list, conveying his excitement on the issues with exclamation points. Some pro-gay marriage activists then get hold of these e-mails and mock them.
But his more informed opponents know that scoffing is a response born of fear.
"You have to take them seriously," says Peter Montgomery, a senior fellow for the liberal People for the American Way. "They've raised a tremendous amount of money that they're funneling into various states. They're mostly responsible for putting the Maine veto on the bill."
Brown is confident that if people hear his message, they will believe it. "People already believe it," he says, "but the issue is so deep-seated that they've never had to create an argument for it. Now we have to give people the language to do that." Create talking points. Help them see.
On NOM's Web site, printable PDFs show visitors how to explain their position. "Why Marriage Matters" comes in versions for different religions: Protestant (Spanish and English), Catholic (Spanish and English) and Jewish.
Avoid the phrase "ban gay marriage," the talking points suggest, adding that opponents "know it causes us to lose about ten percentage points in polls. Don't use it. Say we're against 'redefining marriage' or in favor of 'marriage as the union of husband and wife' NEVER 'banning same-sex marriage.' " Bishop Harry Jackson, the Beltsville pastor who has been one of the most vocal gay marriage opponents in the area, sees a happy partnership between his followers and Brown's group. Jackson says Brown and NOM "have a sense of dignity about human beings. They simply believe that marriage between a man and a woman is the best for society. But they're not gay bashers."
"I believe," Brown says, "that there's a clear purpose to what I'm doing."
Is it possible, in 2009, to avoid the title of "gay basher" while dedicating your life to preventing a portion of the population from participating in a legal process allowed to other people? Does bashing require blows and slurs? Will those who oppose same-sex marriage eventually be put by their opponents into the same pile as people who think interracial marriage should be banned?
Brown worries about that, about being squeezed out of the debate.
"The racial bigot comparison is the most troubling part of the argument," Brown says. It's horrible, offensive, deliberately incendiary. He thinks it is "irrational," a word he uses often.
It is irrational when the opposition points to polls suggesting that most young people support gay marriage. "People mature," he says. Their views change.
It is irrational when people believe that the legalization of same-sex marriage is an inevitability: "We have the people. We have not had such an organized force" before, Brown says.
Brown is Catholic. He converted at Oxford, where he studied after a BA at Whittier College (he grew up surfing in California). He liked Catholicism's traditions of social justice and work for the poor. Along the way, he met Sue, also a devout Catholic. After UCLA he accepted a position with the Family Institute of Connecticut, and worked to prevent the distribution of condoms in schools. "People would ask, 'What does your husband do?' " Sue says. "It was embarrassing to say he worked on condoms. But it was nothing compared to this."
His faith is important to him, but in his arguments he is ever the PhD candidate, addressing questions and dismissing counterarguments with fascination.
"I have gay people who are friends and family," he says. "We can disagree on all sorts of things and still care about each other." And later, "Of course, I have to take their arguments seriously. This issue is important. Ideas have consequences."
He takes nothing personally. He means nothing personal. He is never accusatory or belittling. His arguments are based on his understandings of history, not on messages from God that gays caused Hurricane Katrina.
In short: The institution of marriage has always been between a man and a woman. Yes, there have been homosexual relationships. But no society that he knows of, in the history of the world, has ever condoned same-sex marriage. "Do they always agree on the number of partners? Do they always agree on the form of monogamy? No," Brown says, but they've all agreed on the gender issue. It's what's best for families, he says. It's the union that can biologically produce children, he says. It's all about the way things have always been done. He chose his new church, St. Catherine of Siena, because it still offers a Latin Mass. Other noted conservatives have been parishioners there; Antonin Scalia has worshiped at St. Catherine's.
"I
think it's irrational that up until 10 years ago, all of these
societies agreed with my position" on same-sex marriage, he says, and
now suddenly that position is bigotry. "The opposition is trying to
marginalize and suppress us," he says. "Usually, that happens with
positions that are actually minorities. But we're the majority."
Does he ever think that what he sees as an abrupt historical shift is, perhaps, progress? Does it hurt his feelings when people accuse him of prejudice?
"I think," he says, "it's irrational."
When Brown came from California a few months ago, the family moved into a comfortable house in Great Falls, surrounded by trees. His children are precocious and sweet; his wife is gracious and funny.
Sue Brown had never really thought about same-sex marriage until she met Brian. "Obviously, I always realized there were gay people," she says one Friday morning, sitting in the still-sparsely furnished living room. "But I didn't think about them wanting to get married." And once she did: "Initially, I probably thought, well, what's the big deal if they do? What does it have to do with me?"
When she and Brian got engaged, she envisioned normal family life, both of them returning from their jobs -- she was a high school English teacher -- and having family dinner. Now, while he's crusading, she deals with home-schooling the older children and caring for the younger. It hasn't been easy.
"Connecticut was really hard," she says. In Connecticut, they lived on a street with two sets of lesbian parents. One summer a mutual acquaintance threw a neighborhood party. Brian wasn't invited at all, and Sue's invitation came with a note: "We know what Brian does. If your views are not the same, you can come to the party." Sue stayed home.
"I get how [gays and lesbians] feel," she says. "I get that."
She's pictured what it might be like to be on the other side of this debate. "I know many awesome women, and I've thought about what if I got together with one of them" and tried to raise a family.
She has thought through it. She supports her husband. "I can only go by my own experience, and I believe there's a huge difference in gender." The kids don't need Brian "walking in the door because he's another person. They need him because he's a man."
They haven't made a lot of friends here so far. He works endless hours and so does she. Sue starts off by telling people that he's the director of a nonprofit group. If they ask for more information, she tells them it's a nonprofit dedicated to preserving marriage. And then, of course, they ask her about his position on gay marriage. Whether he's for it or against it.
Brian has come into the room. He's late for a conference call and trying to get out the door.
"What time will you be home tonight?" Sue asks.
"Ahhhh . . . "
"Six."
"Well . . . "
"Six. Just say it and do it. Six."
He doesn't quite agree, but he doesn't disagree, either. And then he's out the door, going off to quietly crusade for the hearts and minds of people who, like Brown, pride themselves on being rational, mainstream and sane.
This guy is a wolf in
sheep's clothing. He cares not for the loving bond between two people
who love each other of the same-sex. He just wants us to remain second
class citizens, who, in this country, teach its children, make it
beautiful, pay a substantial tax penalty even though we live in same-sex
households every time we file our income taxes, preserve the nation's
treasures, fight its wars, design its monuments, feed its people, and
nurse its ill back to health.
We are, in fact, indentured servants to society, if you will, without the rights and privileges of marriage.
He
and his kind like the status quo just fine. As long as we are denied
marriage, we are forever subservant to the married class, the truly
privledged class in this country.
We have to fight with words, with actions, with Mega hairy muscle hugs!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Don't cave into the Manscape craze. Dump the Razor, dudes and stay naturally Hairy
I
realize that there are more pressing issues in the world today, but
when it comes to shaving body hair, that, to me, is an issue worth
discussing.
I love male body hair. I am hairy and I want to see other guys embrace what God has given them.
Say NO to the urge to shave and cream away body hair. Take a manly stance.
Mega HAIRY muscle hugs of camaraderie and hirsute bonding. We hairy guys need to stick together.
12:00 AM CDT on Monday, July 13, 2009
By CATHERINE SAINT LOUIS New York Times News Service
American women didn't shave their armpits en masse until the 1920s, after a storm of sleeveless dresses and advertising by depilatory makers that characterized underarm hair as ugly.
By the 1930s, beauty writers scolded women with forests of leg hair under their silk stockings. Decades later, girls coming of age no longer needed to be told their leg hair was unsightly. They got rid of it.
Can the same thing happen with men?
These days, the hair on men's chests, backs, armpits and even "down there" has become suspect – if you believe the marketing campaigns. Several recent online videos created by brands such as Gillette recast body-hair removal as the domain of average Joes.
Having a chest as smooth as Matthew McConaughey's is old hat for competitive swimmers, urbane metrosexuals and some gay men. To play Brüno, a gay fashion reporter who favors hot pants, the formerly hirsute Sacha Baron Cohen endured repeated waxathons.
But evidence from market research and academia indicates that more men are removing body hair. The phenomenon skews to mostly college-age guys or those in their 30s. Reasons run the gamut from Because My Girlfriend Likes It to a desire to flaunt a six-pack or be clean.
"It used to be a hallmark of male models and homosexuals," said Kat Fay, a senior analyst at Mintel, who writes an annual men's grooming report. She added that the high-maintenance primping of metrosexuals was clustered in cities; by contrast, this campaign has "more of an everyday middle-America feel."
Little research has been done on male body depilation. Michael Boroughs, a psychology graduate student at the University of South Florida, has done studies that showed that more than 80 percent of men surveyed at the school use some sort of body depilation. Numbers were similar for gay and straight men.
Unsurprisingly, the loudest voices making the case for so-called manscaping are the creators of shaving gear. What may surprise, however, is how candid the "manscaping" pitches are.
In May, Gillette started a series of videos online suggesting that men go further with body shaving. The rationale varied by part.
Chest? "A sweater should be bought not grown."
Armpits? "An empty stable smells better than a full one."
And their coup de grâce is the groin: "Trees look taller when there's no underbrush."
A muscular cartoon with pixeled privates even shows how to get bare without putting "your equipment at risk."
On the site for Nivea for Men, Jislain Duval, a Canadian model, demonstrates its Active3 shower gel by shaving starlike patterns around his nipples. As he gazes at his private parts, the camera stays waist-up; yet, the scene doesn't leave much to the imagination.
A comely blonde turns feral at the sight of a cleanshaven chest in a video ad for Braun's BodycruZer, a precision trimmer with a Gillette blade.
In late May, Gillette's How to Shave Your Groin video ranked No. 3 on a list of the top online video advertisements compiled by Visible Measures, an Internet video measurement firm.
Showing men removing their body hair normalizes it. "Just having a video that's not threatening is helping them say it's fine," said Nicolas Maurer, the vice president for marketing at Beiersdorf USA, of which Nivea is a brand. "That's a kind of reassurance for guys."
Yet, do women prefer their men sleek? Not necessarily. Hairless armpits can be a deal breaker, which is odd, because those female naysayers may shave their underarms. Constant YouTube presence Asbellgrad commented about a Gillette video: "Trust me, a girl is turned off by a man who shaves his armpits. It's kind of weird and creepy. Unless you're an Olympic swimmer."
Plenty of female commenters online dislike suitors with less body hair than they have. As Eleanorxjane wrote about a chest-shaving video on YouTube, "I want a real man, not one that's trying to look like he's 12 again!"
Having hair on one's chest – as the expression suggests – signals maturity and boldness. Think Hugh Jackman.
Will today's minority of men engaging in body shaving one day be the majority? Boroughs thinks we are on our way. He has heard from bewildered parents whose teenage sons shaved their chests and ended up with ingrown hairs. In the future, Boroughs wonders, "Are prepubescent boys going to feel pressure to shave like girls do?"
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Happy Daddy's Day
Gay pride month and Daddy's Day, two important celebrations of men who we love and who we admire.
Mega hairy muscle hugs wishing you the best Gay Pride month and Daddy's Day ever!!!
Friday, May 08, 2009
Being a gay porn star, definitely a NO NO at conservative Christian Grove City College
I
guess separating John Gechter from his alter ego, Vincent DeSalvo, a
humpy fuck bud in porn flicks, was difficult at best for several years,
but now the truth be told, they are one in the same.
The
money was definitely good, but the risk proved to be too much at the
end. Exposed and in the public eye, John could only now wish that this
attention dies down. It will, but it will be hard for a while.
We all wish John the best. Bad luck just sucks some times.
This is what Randy Blue writes about this hot porn stud:
Vincent
is one of those rare guys who just fell into my lap. Literally. I was
hanging at the beach with a friend of mine and we just happened to set
up our blanket near a bunch of hot guys playing volleyball. We figured
it was a perfect spot to take in the scenery… and I guess there was an
ocean there, too. There was one guy who caught my eye. His body was
absolutely incredible, with a huge bulge in his tight shorts and sweat
creating a light sheen over his gorgeous smooth musculature. He laughed a
lot throughout the game and when he did he radiated a playfulness that
made me think he would be a lot of fun to mess around with. Then, all of
a sudden, this this handsome hunk dove for a ball and ended up landing
right in the middle of our blanket. Luckily he was unharmed and when he
got up he chuckled, apologized and smiled this blinding white, joyful
smile.
His name was Vincent DeSalvo
and after the game I had to find out more about him. He said he loved
the outdoors and his sexy body came from all the athletic activities he
enjoyed. I told him what I did for a living and asked if he had ever
done any modeling. He said that while he hadn’t modeled before he had
been a go-go boy. Then he got this contemplative look on his face for
just a moment, then flashed that adorable smile at me and said, ‘hey, I
could model for you, right?’ I didn’t really need more than that, I made
an appointment and he came in. He has such an innocent look about him
that I wasn’t prepared for his bad boy side to emerge. He went from his
sweet smile to spitting in his hand to lube his dick with and finger
fucking himself while moaning like a bitch in heat. And when he came you
could hear it in the next county! Vincent has it all, good looks, a
great body and an incredible sexual energy.
But this zealous endorsement has left Grove City College officials stirring in their shoes.
Grove City takes a dim view of student porn star
Friday, May 08, 2009
By Anya Sostek, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
If everything had gone according to plan, John Gechter would have been studying yesterday for a final exam -- one of his last obligations before graduating from Grove City College with a degree in molecular biology.
Instead, he was preparing for an underwear modeling contest last night in New York City.
It's
been a tough couple of weeks for Mr. Gechter, who has learned the hard
way what happens when you try to use a gay porn career to finance your
education at one of America's most conservative Christian colleges.
For
the past two years, Mr. Gechter has been paying the bills through his
secret life as porn star "Vincent DeSalvo," earning as much as $11,000
per weekend while jetting off to Chicago, Miami and Los Angeles to film
more than a dozen videos.
He did so without telling a soul on the 2,300-student campus in Mercer County, not even his roommate of two years.
PG poll
Was the punishment handed down to John Gechter by Grove City College justified? Vote in our poll.
"Porn enabled me to finish school," said the 22-year-old from Reading, Berks County. "Instead of working 40 hours a week as a busboy or a waiter, you do a scene and then you have time to concentrate on schoolwork."
PG poll
Was the punishment handed down to John Gechter by Grove City College justified? Vote in our poll.
"Porn enabled me to finish school," said the 22-year-old from Reading, Berks County. "Instead of working 40 hours a week as a busboy or a waiter, you do a scene and then you have time to concentrate on schoolwork."
But on April 23, a fellow student found Mr. Gechter's ample body of work on the Internet and forwarded evidence of his secret identity to friends. By the next day, Mr. Gechter estimated that the e-mail had reached two-thirds of the student population -- and he'd landed in a meeting with administrators.
Grove City College promotes
itself as "Authentically Christian" and requires students to attend at
least 16 chapel services per semester. It prides itslef on its
conservative heritage and notes on its Web site that the Young America's
Foundation recognized it as one of the Top Ten conservative colleges in
the U.S.
The school's student handbook clearly states
that "premarital sex, heterosexual or homosexual, or any other such
conduct that violates historical Christian standards" is subject to
disciplinary action.
Mr. Gechter was charged with
sexual misconduct, participation in the public display of pornography
and engaging in "conduct that is contrary to the mission and values of
Grove City College and likely to bring dishonor to the College."
His
punishment: an indefinite suspension and a prohibition from re-applying
for admission until the fall of 2010. A Grove City appeals board turned
down his initial appeal.
Mr. Gechter had been warned
by his mentors and employers in the adult film industry that his
identity would likely become known. And he had been careful to keep his
adult film career away from campus. Still, he hadn't expected that it
might prevent him from graduating.
"I was prepared to be recognized," he said. "I was not prepared for the school to react the way they did."
Grove City released a statement yesterday but declined any further comment.
"The
student's suspension resulted from his involvement in the adult
pornography industry. The student acknowledged that he was employed in
the adult entertainment industry and that he knew that violated the
student code of conduct. Throughout this process, his sexual orientation
was not a factor in the decision."
Mr. Gechter says he is bisexual.
Though
he still has one appeal pending with the provost, he has officially
withdrawn from the school. He says he's received nearly 200 "hate mail"
e-mails from other students and has even been pelted with fruit salad in
the cafeteria.
He hopes to complete the remaining two
classes that he needs to graduate elsewhere. But his plans to enroll
next year in a master's program in kinesiology at the University of
Miami are now on hold.
Ironically, Mr. Gechter ended
up at Grove City College in the first place because of the generous
financial aid package awarded to him.
With two
siblings also in college and his parents unable to provide much
financial support, Mr. Gechter said that he had to finance his education
by himself. Tuition, room and board at Grove City is just under $20,000
a year.
At first, he went the more traditional route,
working at low-paying jobs such as a desk clerk at the school gym, a
cook in the student bistro and a waiter.
With schoolwork on top of long hours at low wages, he "really got burned out," he said, and decided to explore modeling jobs.
He
signed with the Ohio-based Midwest Model Management Agency, doing
mainly "fitness and underwear modeling." At one job, he was approached
by a scout who told him that he had the perfect body for the adult film
industry.
And while the move from modeling to
pornography seems like crossing a fairly large gulf, "when you're
actually in the industry, it's not quite as big of a deal," he said.
He
would work a couple weekends per month, flying out on Friday and
returning Sunday night in time for Monday classes and typically making
between $3,000 and $5,000 -- and sometimes as much as $8,000 -- per
scene.
Though Mr. Gechter said that his porn career
opened doors for him in terms of modeling and possibly acting, he now
wishes that he hadn't done it, given the academic consequences and the
pain that it has caused his religious family.
When he broke the news, his mother started "praying and fasting." His father was upset, but he said they still love him.
He
has retained a lawyer and is contemplating a lawsuit against Grove
City. Though he admits that some of his rule violations were fairly
clear, he doesn't feel like the school is demonstrating Christian values
of love and forgiveness. The whole experience, he said, has caused him
to re-examine his Christian beliefs.
"I believe in God, that you are held accountable for what you do, that there are standards of right and wrong," he said.
"If
I could do it over again, this is not an option I would pursue. It's
something you learn from, and you learn who your true friends are very,
very quickly."
Monday, May 04, 2009
It is finally time to repeal, Don't Ask, Don't Tell. We can't let another year go by.
DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL WEAKENS OUR MILITARY, IT DESTROYS LIVES, CAREERS and MOST OF ALL MAKES US FEEL NOT EQUAL TO STRAIGHTS!!!
WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT NOW!!!!
In the Barracks, Out of the Closet
President
Obama has said he will abolish the 16-year-old “don’t ask, don’t tell”
policy, which allows gays and lesbians to serve in the military only if
they do not disclose their sexual orientation. Nationwide, polls show
that a majority of Americans support lifting the ban on openly gay
members of the military.
But support in
the military’s ranks and among retired officers is mixed. While several
prominent retired generals and admirals have urged a repeal, others have
said that allowing openly gay people to join the service would hurt
recruiting and retention. How would lifting the ban affect the military
ranks?
We don't know the answers to this.
An Executive Order would, I feel, weaken any chance of Congress passing
the repeal. Only Congress should lift this stupid policy.
Write
your congressman and senator. Tell him or her that this is just
bullshit, and discriminates again gay men and lesbians serving in the
military.
Toot your horn and make a soldier proud to be serve openly and gay in our armed forces without retaliation!!!!
They need our Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs of support.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
For Those That It matters,A Reminder to Set your Clocks ahead one hour tonight
This
guy knows how to set clocks forward. Just follow him to set your
clocks forward tonight. Have a great day and enjoy the extra hour of
daylight at the end of the day.
Mega hairy muscle hugs guys. Soon it will be shirtless weather again. WOOF
Friday, February 06, 2009
WOOF, It's Cold Outside. Time to Dream and Plan Getaway Vacations
FYI: This is the newest edition of Damron Men's Travel Guide for 2009.This should sell really well, given the furry eye candy on the cover.
Damron Men's Travel Guide 2009
The classic gay men's travel guide since 1964. Over 12,000 listings of gay-friendly businesses in the US, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, the Caribbean, South America, Europe & Asia.
Quick facts on everything the gay traveler on the go needs, including accommodations, bars, bookstores, gyms, restaurants, men's clubs and more.Also a yearly calendar of film fests, circuit parties, leather and bear events, conferences, etc.
European cities now include Paris, London, Berlin, Amsterdam, Vienna, Rome, Prague, Dublin, Copenhagen, and Barcelona, Madrid, and Sitges, Spain.
In South America: Buenos Aires, Argentina; Rio de Janeiro & Sao Paulo, Brazil; and Santiago, Chile. In Asia: Tokyo & Bangkok.
$21.95 (online $17.56)
Monday, January 26, 2009
KEEP SAM ADAMS!!!
As those of you who know me and who have read my blog posts over the years know, I do not stray into politics.
I write about man to man relationships, safer sex, and other topics of interest.
But I feel that I have to venture into the political arena concerning the cries for the resignation of Sam Adams.
We
Gay Men are not perfect. Gay men are imperfect sexual creatures. Admit
it or not, more times than not, we think with our cock before our brain
cells shift into action mode.
Sam indeed,
acted irrationally. But he is still a great leader. Why have him thrown
to the wolves when the voters and others can forgive him, as he humbly
asks us to do.
We live in an imperfect
world. Gay leaders, I fear, have their heads so entrenched into the gay
marriage issue, that any thing or anyone's action that promotes
something negative on this issue, is hung "by his balls", for the sake
of the cause.
I, for one, am willing to
give Sam Adams a second chance. Hell, I guess, any one with the name of
Beau Breedlove can be darn seductive. Beau seems to be the heartbreaker.
Sam was vulnerable, and this public humility is his "scarlet letter".
But
enough is enough. Let Sam Adams continue what the voters of Portland
elected him to do, lead a great city through some difficult economic
times.
Sam, you have my Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs of support.
Supporters urge Adams not to resign
Portland Business Journal
A
phalanx of supporters — including Commissioner Dan Saltzman — urged
Mayor Sam Adams not to resign during a Friday gathering inside City
Hall.
They lauded Adams’ leadership ability, while pleading for him to ride out the wave of criticism that rocked his administration this week following his admission to lying about a sexual relationship with 18-year-old Beau Breedlove.
“This city, this country, are in very tough times. We have to work hard to do our own efforts to get our economy going,” said Saltzman, speaking publicly on the issue for the first time.
“Frankly, we need Mayor Sam Adams to be leading this City Council.”
Supporters
also criticized the Portland media for calling for Adams’ resignation
and uncovering his transgressions in the first place.
Willamette
Week first broke the story of Adams’ admission Monday evening.
Subsequently, four publications — The Oregonian, the Portland Tribune,
the Portland Business Journal, and local gay newspaper Just Out —
published editorials urging Adams to resign.
“The fact that the media have the right to publish the truth doesn’t mean they should exercise the truth in every circumstance,” Charlie Hinkle, a local attorney at Stoel Rives LLP who specializes in First Amendment issues, said at the rally. “The media spend much too much time in probing the private lives of public officials.”
The
news conference was organized by Thomas Lauderdale, a friend of Adams
and frontman for the local band Pink Martini. Among the other speakers
were prominent business officials such as commercial developer John
Russell, and leaders in the arts community, including local singer Storm
Large.
Acclaimed director Gus Van Sant, who this week
was nominated for an Oscar for his work directing the film “Milk,”
issued a statement, read by a proxy at the news conference.
“Portland didn’t elect Sam to dismiss him at the first sign of controversy,” Van Sant wrote.
Supporters are scheduled to host a larger rally at 5:30 p.m. Friday outside City Hall.
Supporters are scheduled to host a larger rally at 5:30 p.m. Friday outside City Hall.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Happy New Year. What's Old is New Again.
I recently discovered the works of Marsden Hartley. His art captures the male form as few artists of the 20th century have achieved. His masterpieces are timeless. These models could have lived today.
Below
is an exerpt of Mardsen's life and his talent from a press release
announcing a special exhibit of his work at the Bates College Museum of
Art in Maine.
Born in Lewiston, Maine in 1877 to immigrant parents, Marsden Hartley achieved recognition as a painter and poet late in life.
In
a letter dated December 20, 1942, Hartley wrote to his favorite niece
Norma Berger, "When I am no longer here my name will register forever in
the history of American art." Evidence of the artist’s efforts to
establish his name and to fix himself in the collective memory of the
public, his friends, and family, can be found throughout the Bates
College Museum of Art’s collection.
Hartley’s
personal archive not only provides a wealth of information about the
artist’s life, relationships, and interests, but demonstrates his
attempt to construct both a personal history and a public identity.
Hartley was fascinated with autobiography from the early stages of his career. Through self-portraiture and prolific writing, he chronicled his life partly in an effort to prove to himself that it had been worthwhile. Friends and acquaintances often described the artist as lonely, anxious, frustrated, gloomy, and bitter – yet lighthearted and affectionate "when he thought he was being liked or loved."
In
a life largely spent unsettled, collecting photographs of others, and
sharing images of himself was a way to maintain relationships and
initiate new ones. Hartley’s ongoing struggle to find his place –
geographically, philosophically, artistically, and as a gay man – is
documented in his writing, reflected in his work, and revealed through a
study of his archive.
Along with 99 drawings, the Marsden Hartley Memorial Collection contains a large number of photographs, including personal snapshots, formal portraits, and studio reference materials. As part of the Museum’s collection of Hartley ephemera, these images function as important documents of his life, interests, and studio practices.
Hartley
recognized the power of the photographic image and believed in the
"honesty" of the medium and its ability to communicate, which he
attempted to control. Photography allowed the artist to portray himself
in any image he desired: New York modernist, European aesthete, native
Mainer.
In
honor of this great contemporary American artist, celebrate his works
by giving Mega Hairy Muscle Hugs in abundance as we celebrate a new
chapter in American history.
Friday, December 19, 2008
HO!HO!HO! Merry Xmas to everyone
Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
May Daddy Santa bring you everything you desire: love, peace and joy.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
We Are What We Are. The Biology of Gayness
Born that gay
Do recent neurological studies prove once and for all that homosexuality is biological?
By Robert Burton
http://www.salon.com/env/mind_reader/2008/09/12/gay_neurology/index.html
See what you think after reading this latest scientific study about why we are gay.
Sept. 12, 2008 As the accuracy and resolution of brain imaging improve, we can expect virtually all behavior to be shown to be associated with demonstrable brain changes. It shouldn't come as a surprise that imaging studies of sexual orientation are increasingly revealing anatomic and functional differences between "straight" and "gay" brains. But demonstrating such changes doesn't answer the age-old question of how much our sexual preferences are innate and how much they are fueled by environmental exposure, cultural norms and conscious personal choices.
One way to distinguish the effects of nature from nurture would be to look at brain regions believed by neuro-anatomists to be fully formed at birth and impervious to subsequent environmental effects, both physical and psychological. Focusing on such brain regions, a research team at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, headed by neuroscientist Ivanka Savic, obtained MRIs for 90 adult volunteers -- 25 straight men, 25 straight women, 20 gay men and 20 lesbians. Using the latest quantitative techniques for assessing cerebral symmetry and functional connections between various areas of brain, Savic was able to demonstrate highly statistically significant differences between straight and gay brains. Gay and lesbian brains more closely resembled the brains of straight volunteers of the opposite sex than the brains of heterosexual members of the same sex.
Sept. 12, 2008 As the accuracy and resolution of brain imaging improve, we can expect virtually all behavior to be shown to be associated with demonstrable brain changes. It shouldn't come as a surprise that imaging studies of sexual orientation are increasingly revealing anatomic and functional differences between "straight" and "gay" brains. But demonstrating such changes doesn't answer the age-old question of how much our sexual preferences are innate and how much they are fueled by environmental exposure, cultural norms and conscious personal choices.
One way to distinguish the effects of nature from nurture would be to look at brain regions believed by neuro-anatomists to be fully formed at birth and impervious to subsequent environmental effects, both physical and psychological. Focusing on such brain regions, a research team at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, headed by neuroscientist Ivanka Savic, obtained MRIs for 90 adult volunteers -- 25 straight men, 25 straight women, 20 gay men and 20 lesbians. Using the latest quantitative techniques for assessing cerebral symmetry and functional connections between various areas of brain, Savic was able to demonstrate highly statistically significant differences between straight and gay brains. Gay and lesbian brains more closely resembled the brains of straight volunteers of the opposite sex than the brains of heterosexual members of the same sex.
In their study, reported in the June 16, 2008, issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Savic said, "This is the most robust measure so far of cerebral differences between homosexual and heterosexual subjects." Although Savic admits that her study cannot distinguish between genetic or prenatal intrauterine environmental changes, such as relative differences in sex hormone levels, her studies do suggest that our sexual preferences are, at least in large part, determined by the time of birth.
Not long after reading the study, the author got a call from neurologist Jerome Goldstein, M.D., 67, once a fellow resident in the UCSF neurology training program. This fall, Goldstein, an internationally respected headache researcher and sometimes controversial gay activist, is giving a series of lectures on the innate biology of gayness. He was phoning to ask if I had seen the study and if I might write about the latest scientific evidence supporting the biology of gayness. I decided to interview him instead. Goldstein is compact, rapid-talking and constantly on the verge of impatience. Yet during our conversations he was subdued, confessional in tone, with frequent pauses to gather his thoughts; the seriousness of his concerns was palpable.
Jerry, you've been an outspoken gay activist for 40-plus years. Why the sudden interest in the biology of sexual orientation?
I was aware that I was attracted to men by age 8, even though I did not have any gay sexual experiences until I was 19. Meanwhile, despite having no sex or even a clear understanding of what homosexuality meant, virtually everyone that I encountered, including my dear parents, made a point of telling me that homosexuality was dirty, sinful and a phase that would pass.
Beginning my sophomore year in college, and before my first gay experience, I began the endless rounds of psychiatrists and counselors. I even tried to modify my behavior to make it acceptable. Sadly, even though I now know better, and am fully aware of the overwhelming evidence as to the underlying neurobiologic predisposition to gayness, I have never been able to entirely shake this feeling of guilt and wrongdoing. Future generations should be spared. Right now, I'm interested in seeing that good science prevails over outdated, misguided psychology and false-headed thinking that homosexuality is a conscious choice.
Do you think people accept that homosexuality arises out of biological predispositions?
Only on the surface. Down deep, there's a lingering suspicion that, even if the cause is biological, there is something intrinsically wrong with being gay. It has been 35 years since homosexuality was removed from a psychiatric diagnostic category and we [still] don't see the changes in the way people think. Sadly, even our major neurological societies haven't taken a serious look at the biology of sexual orientation. For example, when was the last time that you saw the American Academy of Neurology even address the subject? And the general public? Just listen to right-wing talk show hosts offering to pray for my sins. Or look at the damage caused by the religious right and its "conversion therapy," which attempts to alter an inborn characteristic of human behavior. I don't want pity and sympathy, I want scientific understanding based on logic and reason.
Could you give me a brief rundown of what you think is the most compelling evidence supporting the biology of gayness?
Keep in mind that sexual orientation is exceedingly complex and not reducible to a single gene or hormonal aberration, or explained by demonstrable anatomic brain differences. But by examining multiple lines of evidence, you can begin to connect the dots as to how biology influences sexual preferences. With these caveats in mind, let's look at the history leading up to the present functional imaging studies.
In 1991, Simon LeVay, formerly a professor of neuroscience at Harvard and the Salk Biological Institute, claimed to have discovered specific anatomic differences between gay and straight brains, primarily in a region of the hypothalamus believed to have a major influence on sexual behavior. By the way, this region's fetal development is greatly influenced by the levels of intrauterine testosterone, a major reason why intrauterine shifts of sex hormone levels are thought by some researchers to contribute to sexual preference.
But LeVay's work was considered controversial, nonreproducible, and part of a gay political agenda. The real take-away was the promise that neuroscience might one day offer better insights into the origins of homosexuality.
At the same time, there were a variety of quasi-scientific studies claiming to uncover markers for "gay tendencies." One suggested that you could tell whether or not you're gay by whether your hair whorl -- that patch of hair on the crown of your head -- curled clockwise or counterclockwise. Another suggested that you could tell by the relative symmetry of your second and fourth digits. Those studies weren't exactly good science and certainly didn't make the biology of sexual orientation an attractive area for basic research funding.
Early genetic studies also ran into major criticisms. In the early '90s, Dean Hamer of the National Cancer Institute raised the possibility of "a gay gene." His studies met the same criticisms asserting that that single genes don't cause complex behavior. On a YouTube video, Hamer denies the idea of a single gene for gayness.
But what has emerged from the genetic approach is incontrovertible evidence that sexual preference runs in families. Several independent large-scale studies show that a man with a gay identical twin brother will have between a 33 and 52 percent chance of being gay -- a rate far higher than is seen in the general population. But even here, one could argue that half to two-thirds of genetically similar twins will not have the same sexual orientation. Naysayers have used this fact as evidence that, even in the face of similar genetics, each of us retains the ability to consciously choose and control our sexual preferences.
Of course, this is a ridiculous argument. Genes can be variably expressed, depending upon environmental factors. And no one is saying that genes are the sole cause of sexual behavior; nongenetic factors are likely to also play a major role. It's entirely conceivable that identical twins with a similar genetic predisposition for homosexuality but exposed to different intrauterine testosterone levels will end up with different sexual orientations.
Let's talk about your take on the new brain-imaging studies.
Begin with Dr. Savic's work on pheromones. It's fairly common knowledge that, throughout the animal kingdom, sniffing chemicals secreted by other members of the same species -- pheromones -- can invoke innate behaviors such as a flight response in aphids, aggression in bees, trail marking in ants. We forgive our pet cat for marking our favorite couch as "her territory." All of these are basic survival techniques with clear evolutionary benefits. Ditto for chemicals involved in "being in heat."
What's fascinating about Savic and her colleagues' study was their ability to test the role of pheromones in identifying human sexual orientation.
Functional
imaging studies or PET scans of heterosexual controls were compared
with a group of gay and lesbian volunteers. All subjects were asked to
sniff gender-specific sex-hormone-like compounds: AND for the
androgen-like pheromones secreted by males and EST for the estrogen-like
pheromones secreted by females.
To enhance normal reproduction, you'd expect that males would be attracted to EST and females to AND. But Savic found that these self-declared gays and lesbians process these pheromones differently than their heterosexual counterparts.
When exposed to the male pheromone
AND, homosexual men tended to respond similarly to heterosexual women,
both in brain location and degree of activation. On the other hand, gay
women responded to EST similarly to straight men.
In
short, it looks as though straight men and gay women processed
similarly while the converse is true for straight women and gay men.
But her pheromone study still doesn't answer the nature-nurture question. These PET scan differences could reflect the consequences of a behavior rather than necessarily being indicative of the cause of the behavior.
But that's what makes her study so important, and allows her to draw the most important conclusion -- that sexual orientation is determined prior to exposure to life's environmental influences. Savic has assured me that these findings aren't "learned" but rather reflect either genetic or intrauterine developmental differences. And, unlike some of the early researchers, Savic can't be accused of having a gay political agenda or bias. Her field was originally epilepsy research. She inadvertently stumbled onto the pheromone sex differences while studying how smells might trigger temporal lobe epilepsy.
You've seen the studies. How impressive are the differences?
There are obvious-to-the-naked-eye differences in cerebral symmetry and in the functional connections in various portions of the limbic system, including the differing degrees of connectivity between amygdala and other brain regions critical for emotional responsiveness. It's as though you can actually see the brain changes that most gays have always suspected; and, believe me, it's a great relief to realize that these findings are clearly present at birth and aren't anyone's "fault." They simply are [present] in the same way that one has blue eyes or red hair.
No more and no less.
In thinking about sexual orientation as a choice, isn't there also the problem of how unconscious biological traits affect conscious decisions?
Of course. In a way, choosing a sex partner is like choosing what you eat; it might feel like a choice, but biology plays a major, though unconscious, role.
I presume that you are alluding to the recent studies of the genetics of taste?
Yes. Take our ability to taste bitterness. A single gene, isolated in 2003, determines whether or not foods such as Brussels sprouts are experienced as bitter. Remember how our parents insisted that we could learn to like Brussels sprouts; if we didn't, we were accused of being finicky eaters, or worse. Now, we would be sent for genetic testing.
Are you equating homosexuality with a taste for Brussels sprouts?
Very interesting and funny. But sex is much more complex and emotionally charged as a point of discussion than taste. But yes, in a larger sense, genetics helps determine the shape of desire.
Are you suggesting that outside influences -- parental, peer group and general cultural -- aren't important in determining our sexual preferences?
Not entirely. I'm saying that these influences are far less potent than the biological. Certainly there are a variety of strictly environmental circumstances, such as long-term prison incarceration, that might trigger homosexual behavior. But then you run into the reverse argument. Given that lots of men are confined to prison, only some end up with homosexual behavior. Perhaps these circumstances still reflect a combination of biology and environment. Right now, all bets are off.
There is the additional problem that you discussed at length in your recent book, "On Being Certain," namely, how conscious decisions can be affected by unconscious biological mechanisms. The same biology that affects our sexual desires may also affect how we consciously think about these desires.
In a separate study (PDF), Savic has shown that differential responses to pheromones even affect how we determine the relative masculinity or femininity of facial images. Savic presented male volunteers with a series of facial images and asked them to rate the faces on a scale of masculine to feminine. When inhaling a masculine pheromone, the volunteers perceived the faces to be more masculine than when they were exposed to estrogen-like pheromones.
What's so intriguing about this study is that it shows how simple chemicals can actually affect our visual perception of gender. It's not a great leap of imagination to see how these same chemicals might influence whether an adolescent male chooses to read a muscle magazine or Playboy.
Do you think these studies can help counter fundamentalist arguments that homosexuality is evil?
Accepting sexual preference as an innate characteristic is an essential first step. But this sidesteps the more deep-seated gut sense that homosexuality isn't natural and goes against the laws of nature. This argument can be partially defused by recognizing how ubiquitous homosexual behavior is in the animal kingdom -- starting with the lowliest fruit fly. I'm sure you're aware that there is a single gene, which, in the fruit fly, can turn on and off homosexual behavior.
But in the end, I suspect that real acceptance will only come about when we have a much more comprehensive view of how the mind works, including how we make conscious choices versus how much of our apparent willfulness arises out of involuntary biological mechanisms.
Let's
all pay homage to the fruit fly by grabbing your snuggle buddy and
giving him "Mega Hairy Muscle hugs". And forget the mind games, after
all, we are what we are.
So remember to eat your brussel sprouts. And throw in some spinach for good measure.
Your musclebear Popeye may be closer than you think. WOOF.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Love Your Body, And All of Your Body Parts, But Make Sure It is the Best Body It Can Be.
The following is from the current issue of the Advocate.
See what you think.
The Naked Truth
Twenty-two people of all shapes and sizes strip down, pose, and spill their guts about what they love and hate about their bodies.
Click the byline to view more stories by this author.Photography by Eric Schwabel
A shorter version of this story appeared in The Advocate September 23, 2008
They say you can see a person’s soul if you stare into his eyes—but perhaps the quickest way to really know someone is to have him take off his clothes. That’s why we asked 22 people to undress and bare their insecurities. Some of their hang-ups are unexpected (Really? Too big!?), others are heart-wrenching. All of them will have you looking at yourself differently the next time you’re naked. Click on the links below for profiles, photos, and video for each of the participants.
Jim Andre, 60San Luis Obispo, Calif.Likes: arms, chest Dislikes: waistline
Gustavo Marzolla, 32Belo Horizonte, Brazil Likes: face, chest Dislikes: legs
Willam Belli, 24Philadelphia Likes: nose, torso Dislikes: scarred left leg
Dasha Snyder, 38Baltimore Likes: brain and feet—“because they get me where I’m going”Dislikes: scarred abdomen
Patrick Henry, 40Taos, N.M.Likes: chest hair and muscle Dislikes: weight—too skinny
Chad Darnell, 35Atlanta Likes: hands Dislikes: stomach
Trevor Wayne, 30All over the Midwest Likes: everything that’s tattooed Dislikes: forehead
Mark Hersh, 39Newport Beach, Calif.Likes: chest, eyes Dislikes: abs, buttocks
Sean Ching, (age undisclosed)Hawaii Likes: his muscles Dislikes: he sometimes feels fat
Jim Morris, 73New York City Likes: body Dislikes: face
Rodrigo Toledo, 32Rio de Janeiro Likes: hands, chest Dislikes: that he breaks out
Jeff Lukomski, 44Detroit Likes: smile, eyes Dislikes: penis -- too big
Calpernia Addams, 37Nashville Likes: eyes Dislikes: “I’m too tall and too big”
Shawnee Harkins, 26Dallas Likes: arms, shoulders, triceps, rear Dislikes: abs
Corey Saucier, 31Los Angeles Likes: masculine frame Dislikes: stomach
J.T. Chestnut, 19Rock Ridge–Wilson, N.C.Likes: legs Dislikes: belly button, nose
Jim Howley, 33Hilliard, Ohio Likes: heart, eyes Dislikes: “I love all of myself”
Alex LiMandri, 30Metz, France Likes: chest Dislikes: legs
Carlos Fierros, 23Oakley, Calif.Likes: face, legs Dislikes: stomach
Profiles by Neal Broverman, Kyle Buchanan, Japhy Grant
Be happy with your body, but strive to make it the best body it can be.
There is no such thing as the Adonis look. Male Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder.
Some
parts we can never really appreciate about ourselves, because we never
see them in the right light. So graciously accept any and all comments
about your strong back, shoulders, and butt cheeks.
As
I have stated earlier, I can find at least something positive, great,
erotic, about every male body. So check out your assets, work on what's
great about your body, accentuate the positive, and go for it.
I challenge you to a 60 day hunky bod workout. Let me know how it goes.
Giving you mega hairy muscle hugs of encouragement. You got the bod, now make it happen.
Friday, August 01, 2008
Gaydar by the numbers. Just How Accurate Is It?
Gay-dar, Quantified
How long does it take to decide if a man is gay?
It turns out that people make their decisions within 50 milliseconds of seeing someone, and that first instinct is accurate the majority of the time, according to research by Nick Rule and Nalini Ambady of Tufts University who have a study in an upcoming issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Via BPS Research Digest
Twenty-two male and sixty-eight female undergrads were presented with photos of 90 men's faces (half were homosexual) .
The anonymous photos were taken from an internet dating site where posters stated their sexual orientation.
Any
photos featuring facial hair, glasses or jewelery were not used. (Now
that sucks. All bears with facial hair ere excluded f rom the process)
At
a quick glance, the presentation was too quick for the students to
consciously 'see' the faces and, perhaps unsurprisingly, their ability
to determine the men's sexuality was no better than if they were simply
guessing.
However, at a slightly longer
glance - just long enough for the faces to be consciously seen - the
students' accuracy grew to 57 per cent, which is significantly better
than chance performance.
Accuracy didn't
increase with the longer exposure times, suggesting that all the
relevant information for making the judgment had already been extracted
after a quick glance.
In a second study,
the researchers guarded against the possibility that the men in the
dating photographs had deliberately accentuated their sexuality. This
time photos were taken from the social website Facebook, where they had
been posted by people other than the subjects of the photos (so
deliberate accentuation of sexuality was less likely). Again, from just a
glance exposure to men's faces, the 15 undergraduate participants were
able to recognise the men's sexual orientation with an accuracy better
than chance.
But that 57 percent success rate means that almost half of the guys initially perceived to be gay aren't.
I don't think this really proves anything. But it's a fun topic to banter around during your next cookout.
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